What did we do last night that was yellow?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
