And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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