Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
