Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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