You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
