if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize