mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize