the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
