I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
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