time to smoke my breakfast
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
