Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
