so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Your penis caused this!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
