i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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