I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
