She announced her abortion via fbk
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
