I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
