idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
