I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Everything about him screamed your future.
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think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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