She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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