That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
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just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
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I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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