I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
