i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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