My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
