Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
