i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
