i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
should my penis look like a turkey
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize