We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Randomize
