He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
