I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
My liver just had a heart attack.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
