I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize