You really coming over, don't trick.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
