I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
