just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I have peed in a lot of sinks
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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