I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
