thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
