Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
