The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
