none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
