Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
