i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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