Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
