Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
