Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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