If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
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Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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