this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
