yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
