1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
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I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
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I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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