dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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