how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
