Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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