Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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