i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
