so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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