google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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