the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
