So drunk its hurt
I looked at my own cervix.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
How's work?
Spinning.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
