I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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