you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
