Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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