I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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