There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
